A few more heartbreaks followed. Much emotional pain and letting go. The harsh beginning to a strong spiritual awakening that included constantly batting my doubts and fears. A moment came when I was tired. It felt like I'd been through the war. I'd dated, loved, and while I learned lessons I also didn't always treat myself well; I learned very strongly what I did NOT want in a man, in dating, or in a relationship. I was ready to step back, regroup and try for once in my life being gentle with myself.
That is when my twin soul Joron came to me. I was not expecting him. I guess one could say he came to me when I least expected it! In learning about soul mates I'd read about twin souls but never thought of wanting one, attracting one, or asking for one. The idea never crossed my mind. All I wanted was, one day, a dependable loving man who truly cared for me and was willing to make me a priority in his life. I'd asked God two years prior to meeting Joron to please change my life by the time I was forty. At that time, age 38, I was married with an infant son and was terribly lonely. My marriage was sadly lacking and I felt hopeless and in despair. Two years later I was separated from my soon-to-be ex-husband, living on my own and I'd been through the wringer with love. I'd been madly in love with a married man, ended the relationship, and was healing from the letting go. I told God I was ready to be alone for a while... and it was then that I met Joron.
He swept into my life like a breath of fresh air. I can't really properly express how sweetly wonderful and perfect my Beloved is. SO wonderful that he scared the shit out of me as I will be explaining here shortly. We met online in a strange way, and his first email to me was entitled "Empathy." He told me he was a Geologist who worked at a museum and he used to live in California but had been back in "our" area for the last 18 months. Said it was rare to hear people talk about empathy as I had in the online post I'd made that he replied to. Said he was an empathetic person and to write back if I was so inspired.
From the bottom of my heart I was not actually looking to date anyone new. I'd been trying to let go of the married man for months {we rarely saw each other- it was mostly long distance emailing, loving but rough emotionally} and finally had weeks earlier. I'd dated along the way and found it to be taxing. Very rough. I did some things with men that hadn't thrilled me, and I needed some time to heal. I was tired and honestly feeling a bit jaded about men in general, ready to hunker down for a while and wait, hopefully, for the right man to come to me. *sigh* Something about Joron's energy caught my attention though. He was refreshing. Kind and well-spoken. Intelligent and interested in getting to know me. Respectful- he didn't hint at sexuality right away like most men do these days. Somehow we immediately clicked and it was like a firestorm- there was no stopping the connection. Then we exchanged photos and I was shocked: he was... adorable. Bright and smiling and big sparkling blue eyes. He just looked pleasant and nice. In one shot he was holding a little fuzzy white poodle up to his face with this big ole' smile.
Like a woman can resist a man with a puppy or baby, right?
He told me with such enthusiasm and genuine feeling that I was beautiful, and I felt that he meant it. Both of us were shocked to have connected with each other, two people seemingly very simple at first glance. What began from that initial simple email exchange was the transformation of my entire life. The love he showed me was so strong and real and pure and kind and good that I have had a very difficult time accepting it due to my past. Many people have issues with feeling worthy of real love, and I am one of them. Being loved by Joron has been a learning experience, one that started from a few fun lighthearted emails that slammed us together like a magnet to steel.
I came to find as time went on that Joron is all of my rocks. He is everything I asked for in a man plus some wonderful things I didn't realize I wanted. Ironically {or not} he is also a Geologist who radiometrically dates rocks all day.
A Geologist whose life revolves around rocks... is who came to me as the answer to my ritual asking for my one and only true love, asking for him by writing him on rocks. The universe has a sense of humor.
My twin soul is so kind. He showed me more love than pretty much anyone has in my entire life besides the unconditional love I receive from my son. His love is the love I've always dreamed about, a man who loves like I do- fully, totally, completely. I am told from above that I am walking ball of love. This is why I've loved hard my whole life. Joron loves like this too. He is not physically in my life right now. We don't communicate since we are in the midst of what is called a "twin soul separation." It's a quiet that is beyond human reason, controlled by soul. I love Joron with all my heart and look forward to the day when I hear his loving sweet voice again. I long for the moment when I can look into his eyes, smile, hug him and say, "I've missed you my love." I know he's out there loving me still, wanting to come back to me as much as I want him back in my arms again.
"And nothing's gonna stop me but divine intervention." It is divine intervention. And his love for me is divine.
I'll love you, forever, and yes- I believe in you.
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